Football's Bunch of Jokers!!!

Thierry Henry:  Cheating?

So I am watching more cricket today. Test match (5 day!) cricket that does NOT involve India. USA vs. Mexico! OK I am kidding :) It’s the Aussies vs. West Indies (a.k.a Caribbean for all my American friends). I don’t follow cricket as closely (I mean every game :)) as I used to before I started traveling. I didn’t realize that until just now. I just saw something on TV that I have always wanted to see in cricket. Actually for all sports. Decision Review System!

Here’s what happened. Windies are chasing 359 runs in the second innings. 5 wickets down. Probably down to the last two batsmen that can make a match of it. Ramdin is given leg before wicket on a ball that clearly is going down the leg side!! Back in the day he would have walked away grudgingly shaking his head and the Aussies would go on the wrap the tail within the next hour (they still might!). But wait a second! He appeals against the decision and the third umpire rightly overrules the original decision of asking the batsman to walk. Isn’t that great?? I have always thought the argument against technology in sport (holds the game up, takes out the human element, blah, blah, blah) is a truckload of bullshit! What really matters is ensuring that the best team / player wins fair and square. American football (from whatever I understand of it!) uses television replay. Among the more globally watched sports, tennis was an early adopter and I think it’s become a whole lot fairer!

The one sport that really needs to do more is football or soccer. It my favorite sport and honestly FIFA’s attitude towards technology and any form of experimentation leaves much to be desired. Why am I being nice to them?? Stepp Blatter and Co. are a bigger ‘bunch of jokers’ than the much maligned (right so, may I add) Indian cricket team selectors. Of course I am going to use the Thierry Henry incident as a case in point (very original huh?? :)). It’s as good an example as there is to show how a little bit of technology (that already was in place!) would have made sure the deserving team went through to the World Cup. There are hundreds of other instances, minor in comparison to the incident I just described but significant in the context of the game, where existing technology would have ensured fans who pay to watch the game are not going back home with a bitter taste in their mouth (I am not referring to the stale lager!). Think about it. If you follow soccer how many times have you seen a faked dive in the penalty box, a ball that crossed the goal line but was allegedly ‘cleared’, a punch in the face without provocation when the ball was not in play or a howler of an offside decision. Hundreds of thousands of time. It can be argued that the cameras don’t cover all angles and the ‘TV umpire’ may not be in a position to decide. Fair enough. Then let the original decision made by the umpire on the pitch stay. All I am trying to say is that if technology makes it fairer than what it is today I don’t mind waiting a couple of minutes extra while the game is held up. I don’t think most people do (I won’t vouch for the French:)). Here’s hoping for a fairer and cleaner World Cup winner.

******************

In case you needed proof:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2010/mar/06/fifa-rejects-goalline-technology

Fairness cream to get through immigration???

World's No. 1 fairness cream for sissys!

I am back home for Christmas...doing what most honorable Indians do when they have time to kill…watch batsmen number 5 & 6 try and resurrect the innings after an all too familiar top order collapse. Actually I shouldn’t say that. They have become more consistent over they last couple of years except maybe Shewag but then that’s a given. We just have to live with the way he is!!

But I’ll tell you what I can’t live with. Men’s fairness cream advertisement. No it’s not about the fact that these tend to be aired mostly between two perfectly entertaining overs. It’s the whole fricking concept of fairness cream. Which other country in the world sell this rubbish??? And that too for Men!! No I didn’t just discover them. They have existed for years. But what really pisses me off, now more that ever, is that I see Bollywood stars endorsing it. The last one hour has been as much a battle of John Abraham vs Shahrukh Khan endorsing their preferred brand of Men’s fairness cream as bat vs ball.

Shahrukh Khan!!! This articulate and well read (apparently!) Bollywood star expects a white American immigration officer (who probably hasn’t watched a Hollywood movie in years!) to recognize him and not apply the unfortunate but very real ‘racial profiling’ standards applied to hundreds of thousands of Muslims who dare travel internationally. “Racism” screamed the Indian media. Even India’s home minister pitched in! I am certainly not condoning the detention at Newark airport but to expect a US immigration office to recognize Shahrukh Khan is weirder than to expect an Indian immigration officer to recognize Matt Damon! Angelina might pass though :)

Coming back to the point I was trying to make. It’s absurd to see Shahrukh Khan in these ads. Why? Because it’s a product that originates from an underlying racist mentality. And for someone of his influence over young minds to endorse a product that quite blatantly implies that there is something wrong with being born dark skinned is shocking!! It shows how self serving his tirade against racial profiling in the US was. And that no amount of fairness cream will make him white enough to get through immigration.

I'm Just Saying...

Only two ways to travel the world...either be rich or be cheap and single!!

Finest, Bravest and Winning-est???

Finest, Bravest, Winning-est Yankees T-shirt

Yankees are the finest, bravest and winning-est team in baseball history said a T-shirt. I wouldn’t know coz I obviously don’t follow baseball. Not much at least. I’ll watch if you buy me beer. Maybe. But its impossible not to get sucked into the excitement of it all in NYC when Yankees are playing the Phillies (its like India vs Pakistan or Utd vs City…we are neighbors…how can we possibly get along?? :):)) for the World Series. Yes the World Series!! This one I will never get. How can you call it the World Series when it’s just American teams playing in Major League Baseball?? We should do this back home. The year Kolkata Knight Riders win IPL…we should just call them World Champions. F@#$ the Aussies :):)

Anyway we were talking about the Yankees. They won their 27th World Series and boy do New Yorkers know how to celebrate!!! It incredible. Two days after the win was the victory parade on what is called the ‘Canyon of Heroes’. Basically the stretch from Battery Park to City Hall through Broadway. Right through Financial District…in between all those offices…during a weekday!!! Wow. We need more of this stuff. I missed three subway trains on Grand Central just coz I could not get onto one!! It was 8 something in the morning and it looked like the whole of New York was heading downtown. I was the only one not wearing a Yankees jersey or a cap in my coach! When I walked out at Wall St. station the crown was overwhelming. And the parade wasn’t even gonna start till 11 AM. Crazy. I had to walk two blocks towards Battery Park before the cops let me cross Broadway.

Of course I got a little bit of work done (Yes I am implying that I did work…despite the hoopla and excitement...) but stepped out around 11. I didn’t get to see much from where I was standing but I must confess I felt part of the crowd. Victory parades are the same everywhere I guess. They don’t care if you follow the sport. Or the team. Or if you watched every pitch. It’s all about celebrating a special moment. And hope that you can do again. Next season :):)

Hola Halloween!!!

She posed for me, not once but four times! New York City Halloweeen Parade

Hola Halloween! Last time I was out on Halloween night was in Austin, Texas two years ago. Fair number of UT students in costumes and an equal number of onlookers walking up and down 6th street doing shots. There was no Halloween parade like here in NY. Or maybe there was and I probably missed it. Anyway revelry of such kind is unheard (‘unseen’ maybe the right word) of back in India. Oh…how exciting it would have been, back in college (still is!), to watch pretty ladies 'walk' out your fantasies. Nurses, Robo cops or Vampires. Whatever you are into!! :):) Or even candies from the most stuck up neighbors when you are kids. But seriously it’s incredible to see adults dress down and have such fun. Hola Halloween!

This is going on Youtube!!!

Right time, Right place...I make an awesome paparazzi!

I started writing this post two....no wait… three weeks back. Part excitement after watching the football game and part determination to keep my obscure blog going. This blogging thing was part of my New Year resolutions. I wrote that little rhymee (just made that word up) poem (thought I was gonna be the next Keating!) and then planned to write at least one post every month. Ha! :( But then it’s a New Year’s resolution. What do you expect?? :) Anyway for whatever its worth I am going to complete this post coz its really about one of my most exciting days (actually night!) since the summer of 99. And I wanna tell some stranger. Anybody.

--------------------------------------------------------

Rewind: Three weeks ago.

As I sit back on my couch after watching an incredible football (I mean soccer..but I’ll always call it football..coz it foot-ball!!) game, I cant help but look back at my last two weekends and say to myself “wow”!

For me sport offers the purest form of HIGH!! And boy am I addicted or what :) I have never done drugs but I cant think of too many highs that can even come close to watching Man United beat City 4 -3 at the 96th minute in a packed Irish pub, a Roddick vs Federer classic at Wimbledon, the first Indian hatrick in Test cricket along with 100000 crazy fans at Eden Gardens (this is my Summer of 99 reference above…in case you were wondering….I doubt it:)), a last second touchdown on TV even though I barely follow what Americans call football or even Tiger Woods, Michael Jordan or Efran Magician Reyas on grainy Youtube videos!!! I am an addict and thank god there is no rehab.

But last weekend was surreal!! After lying low over the long weekend…I wanted to close out my incredible summer here in NYC with a flourish. And what better than to watch some quality sports live! I had already bought a pair of tickets to the US Open Women’s Semis a couple of months back. Then my apartment mate found tickets to the Men’s Semis on Craigslist for $200 and I thought it was well worth the money. Tennis was always big at home growing up. Its probably the only sport my Dad watches on TV and every Grand Slam semis and final was a little bit of an event so there was no way I was going to miss this opportunity.

Lots happened (read rain!!) Friday and all day Saturday but I’ll just cut to the chase. Saturday Night. Serena vs. Kim Clijsters. US Open Women’s Semifinals (finals for all practical purposes....come on ...I am not being disrespectful to the other semi finalist…this really was the big one!). Anyway, me and my friend sneaked in a few rows but were still on the promenade (I still don’t get why they call it that). Then I see this guy, sitting right behind me 5 minutes earlier, loitering courtside looking for seats. Must be all the rain. They are just letting people sit courtside without making a big fuss. Run.

Next scene. (This is better. This way I don’t have to think up insightful sentences to write and get to where I want to get to. I am desperate. Three week old stinky p@#$% of #$%t) The best fricking courtside seat eva! Eva! Right behind one of the linesmen. Kim Clijsters. 5 feet away. I was rooting for her against the crowd. Obviously, she’s cute. And has a reputation of being one of the nicest persons on tour. (What was Lytton Hewitt thinking???? You Fool).

Close match. Hard fought. Surprisingly crowd wasn’t as partisan as I thought it would be. Lots of Kim supporters among the Americans! Must be the ‘Mom on a comeback trail’ thing. Whatever. She was leading. One set up. And Serena serving to stay in the set. Exact score. One sec. Google. 6 – 4, 6 – 5 and 15 – 30 down I think. Pressure Pressure :) Big point. Gut feel. I start recording. Had been doing it intermittently throughout the match. First serve. Second Serve.

“Foot Fault!!!” screamed the lineswoman sitting in front of me. I stop recording (stupid stupid!). I hear a boo. Serena looks the other direction, gathers a ball, turns around and launches into a tirade against the lineswoman that John McEnroe would have been proud of!!! I start recording again. 5 or 6 seconds into this crazy ass moment. The nastiest bit was already said (I swear I didn’t hear it!!) but there was no sign of stopping. Keep rolling baby!! She gets even closer to the lineswoman and now I can hear what was being said. “You better be fricking right coz I don’t do that!! You better be fricking right coz I don’t do that!! You don’t know me” . I am thinking to myself this is gonna be big on Youtube. Actually saying it aloud!

Judge calls the lineswoman over. Serena still walking around pissed. More drama. Two USTA officials walk out. Call Serena over. Discussion. More like argument. I can hear her say “What? I didn’t say that? I didn’t say I’ll kill you?” And then she just walks out. Oh she did shake Kim’s hand. The match point was defaulted but it, at that time, looked like she just walked away. Fuck. This is crazy. This was, like Sports Illustrated later described, one of the most bizarre conclusions to a match in U.S. Open history. And I was there. No wait. That didn’t come out right. I was RIGHT there. The crowd booed for about a minute. The media guys were next to us in a flash. I let this blond chick answer them. Me and my friend sneaked out.

“Let’s call ESPN. We maybe able to make some money off this”

“I don’t know. Maybe we should just put it on Youtube tonight. It’ll get a million hits”

We called ESPN. They won’t pay for videos. I sit on the video for two days. Not sure if I should just put it online or wait. Post pics on Facebook though. One of them taken off some news website showing me actually recording the incident. I get an email from my cousin’s husband. Lawyer dude. Send me the video. We talk on the phone and looks like he might be able to help. A day later TMZ bought the video. (no we ain’t discussing that :)) But what did I tell you. Its going on Youtube. With the TMZ logo!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Its over. Damn. Good. That makes up for at least two or three months of lost posts. Even if no one reads it. Its over.

Of iPods and Homeless

New York City Subway

That would make a neat title for a ‘Freakonomics’ chapter but unfortunately I don’t have any groundbreaking logic linking the sale of iPods to partner preferences of the homeless. The link is in my head. Of images from my daily commute.

The subway system here in NYC is no different qualitatively from others that I have used previously. It does a great job of getting you around and that’s what counts. But I am not too sure I can say the same thing about New Yorkers who travel on these trains. They have got to be one of the most interesting bunch of commuters in the world!! (I am excluding the Indian train ride of course:)).

The white iPod earplug (literally and factually on every third person, depending on which coach you sit,) is as ubiquitous as the Chinese American girl with the white American guy!! The homeless (shouting for attention) put on a sincere attempt to convince fellow commuters that they have never done this before and that the money is only for the night’s supper and not drugs. The obnoxious evangelic (yes I said it!) screaming his lungs out and passing the most crude judgments about other peoples lives (big collective sigh of relief when he stepped out). The young kid who doesn’t think much of practicing his dance moves as others jostle for leg space! The sketch artist who kept looking at my shoe and drew god knows what (I didn’t move my leg for 3 stops under pressure!!). The musicians. The nerds. The Tourists. The ‘Straight Off to gym’ types. The Wall Street guys. The Asian guys with tattoos and the queer guys with bindi! The blondes:) The Latinas:) Its never a dull ride….except maybe Monday mornings!

Summer and all!! (Central Park, Strawberry Fields)

Yet another Beetles tribute: Strawberry Fields, Central Park

Thankfully the weather cleared. But by that time it had already dampened my plans for a run around the Reservoir. To be fair I was looking for an excuse.

I went out for a coffee though. And then walked to Strawberry Fields in Central Park (West 72nd street) hoping some music would salvage my day. I am not really big into any band and that includes the Beatles but live music is always uplifting. Especially if you get to hear the odd song that you know :). Make it a point to pass by Strawberry Fields (SF) every time I go to Central park (for those of you who don’t know, it’s the part of the park that is dedicated to John Lennon).

The first time I went to “SF” was two years ago when I was visiting NYC. Somebody recommended it and I am glad he did. I was blown away by the city on that visit and needless to say the couple of hours in Central park were the highlight of my stay. It was a long weekend (probably the 4th of July one). The city was buzzing with tourist (like me) and sailors. Central Park was on that surreal day an eclectic mix of people, music and relaxation. For people from tropical cultures like me, the romanticization of summers by western writers / journalist was always hard to grasp growing up. But that day I knew exactly why. I guess the winters are so hard (I am yet to spend my first one in NYC..not looking forward to it :)) that when summer comes there is no reason to stay indoors and not celebrate. Besides it not as hot as Southern India or the Middle East :).

Anyway I was talking about SF. The same bunch of guys play Beetles music every weekend (probably even weekdays but I have never been on a weekday to be sure). I recognized couple of faces from my visit two years back (The Filipino looking guy in the NYC cap…same fricking cap too!!). It’s incredible. Their passion for music and for one band!! I know Beetles are not just another band especially for folks who grew up in that era but to show up in a park every weekend and play the same songs to passersby crowds, who immortalize you in their memories (if at all) and nothing else, requires a special kind of passion. The fact that none of them look like they stay at Trump Plaza makes them even more lovable. People from all around the world, a lot of who don’t know anything about SF or maybe even Beetles (yes there are places like that!!) stand together and swing their heads (some sing along) in appreciation. I didn’t get the goose bumps today I got the first time but like I said earlier it sure is uplifting. Let it be!

Summer and all!! (The Met)

Venus and Cupid – Lorenzo Lotto

I moved into this new apartment on 104th Street...a block away from Central Park....but only for a month. Newport wasn't bad but I am hoping this will be more fun during the summer. Spent some time at the Met yesterday. Its fricking hugh!! The only three galleries I managed to see (in 5 hours!!) were the Egyptian Art (including the temple of Dendur), European paintings and the 19th and early 20th century European painting. Don't know why i chose to see the paintings!! They weren't bad or anything...just that I don't exactly have any experience "appreciating" art :)

But here's what I figured out. I kind of enjoyed the paintings with detailed work and not random brush strokes. Dutch mannerisms (whatever that means...haven't wikied it yet) were the most discernible and hence more soothing to MY untrained eyes! Anyways here's a list of paintings (yeah I carried a small piece of paper around...weird I know!) I liked (and you must see!!) at the Met (in no particular order):

1. The Golden Age - Joachim Wtewael

2. The Crucifixion; The Last Judgment - Jan van Eyck (I really liked this one…its actually two different paintings in one frame…the one on the right is about Heaven, Earth and Hell..the God actually looks like some Japanese cult leader sitting in a Hindu God’s pose :) but the most stunning part is the depiction of Hell below earth..bodies mangled together overseen by the Devil…if I were a heavy metal crazy rockstar..that would be tattooed on my back :))

3. Allegory of the Catholic faith – Johannes Vermeer

4. Venus and Cupid – Lorenzo Lotto (Little Cupid peeing on Venus!!)

5. The Martyrdom of Saint Barbara - Lucas Cranach the Elder

6. The Judgment of Paris - Lucas Cranach the Elder

7. Samson captured by Philistines – Guercino (Boy this was some painting..the scale and the beauty of it was incredible…I am tempted to say this was probably the best among the ones I saw)

8. The Organ Rehearsal – Henry Lerolle (Another massive masterpiece)

9. The Weeders – Jules Breton

10. The Torment of Saint Antony (apparently earliest known painting by Michelangelo ..painted when he was only 12 or 13 years old...and the knowledge of that fact makes this thing even more impressive to look at..another one for my imaginary rock star body)

Among the other more famous ones (the ones that were recommended when I goggled the collection at The Met) I saw were:

1. Cypress – Van Gogh ..I think the trick with appreciating all these so called Impressionist is to go closer to the painting and observe the brushstrokes…its utterly chaotic (at least to an amateur like me) and then step back a few feet to see the overall painting. Anyway, don’t miss Van Gogh..something to brag about if you get stuck with one of those artsy kinds :)

2. Aristotle with a Bust Homer by Rembrandt

3. The Death of Socrates by Jacques Louis David (pronounced Daa vee dh as per the audio guide:))

Why the hell did I write all this down???

Blinding

That perfect world is shattered,
one I had grown to believe,
where hopes and dreams would conspire,
like some miracle after a prayer

The scar is too deep,
and I hate to recognize,
that life ain't a sitcom,
where pretty girls are sweet

Hey! That, that moment of brilliance,
that just went past me,
wasn't that a flash,
of what could have been

But I dare pause not,
to feel that lump in my throat,
and tread carefully I must,
around the glass scattered beneath,
shining, shining right back at me